Where am I?

If you’re wondering why I haven’t been blogging lately, it’s because I am freakin’ busy. Sniff. I’m busy with work since I have a new task. I’ve been training new hires from 8AM till 5PM then rush all my other responsibilities after 5PM to 8PM. I have to cut it at 8 because I still have to take care of my Chi-chi. Oh well.

After I brought her to the salon for her first haricut.

During weekends, I go out. Summer gives me a crazy schedule! It's like I'm out of town EVERY weekend.

Yes. It's me. I've been diving a lot lately.

But today... aaahhh... I love my day today. No out of town gimmick! I had a chance to do volunteering this morning with kids from Lydia's Helping Hand Mission again.


Later, I will be seeing my old friends from Sykes. Just good dinner then I'll be hitting home to have a good sleep. Tomorrow is another day.

I'm fat. Crap!

The only thing I hate about trying to lose weight is the craving. I hardly eat junkies but lately I’ve been eating chocolates and candies and cakes and ice creams more than I eat “real food”. There’s this ungodly amount of fat spilling out of my sides! I’m extremely annoyed! It doesn’t help too when all your friends tell you “You’re getting really fat y’know!”. I try so hard to reduce fats by dieting but I just can't do it! I dunno... The more I prohibit myself, the more I crave for food. Like last night I was at Brazil Brazil for a buffet eat all you can meal. Hay. Hopeless.

I just can’t say goodbye to these fellows:


Candies and chocolates...
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The biggest Margarita from Fridays.

Caramel Macchiato from Starbucks.

Mcdo Food!

Sweet desserts!

Makes Me Wonder by Maroon 5

I wake up with blood-shot eyes
Struggled to memorize
The way it felt between your thighs
Pleasure that made you cry
Feels so good to be bad
Not worth the aftermath, after that
After that
Try to get you back


I still don't have the reason
And you don't have the time
And it really makes me wonder
If I ever gave a f**k about you


Give me something to believe in
Cause I don't believe in you
Anymore, Anymore
I wonder if it even makes a difference to try
(Yeah)
So this is goodbye


God damn, my spinning head
Decisions that made my bed
Now I must lay in it
And deal with things I left unsaid
I want to dive into you
Forget what you're going through
I get behind, make your move
Forget about the truth


I still don't have the reason
And you don't have the time
And it really makes me wonder
If I ever gave a f**k about you


Give me something to believe in


Cause I don't believe in you
Anymore, Anymore
I wonder if it even makes a difference,
It even makes a difference to try (yeah)
And you told me how you're feeling
But I don't believe it's true
Anymore, Anymore
I wonder if it even makes a difference to cry
(Oh no)
So this is goodbye


I've been here before
One day a week
And it won't hurt anymore
You caught me in a lie
I have no alibi
The words you say don't have a meaning
Cause..


I still don't have the reason
And you don't have the time
And it really makes me wonder
If I ever gave a f**k about you and I...
and so this is goodbye


Give me something to believe in
Cause I don't believe in you,
Anymore, Anymore
I wonder if it even makes a difference,
It even makes a difference to try
And you told me how you're feeling
But I don't believe it's true
Anymore Anymore
I wonder if it even makes a difference to cry
(Oh no)


So this is goodbye
So this is goodbye, yeah (x 3)
(Oh no)


***



SO YOU THINK THIS IS FOR YOU? HMMM...

Should I stay or should I go?

I went to bed at a decent hour last night and woke up at an equally decent hour today. Although I have so many things to do, I’m like a braindead zombie all day. I work by having an existential crisis for coffee on the side! I probably know the reason behind this, the other night I had an hour and 15 minutes full-body massage then last night I had another 2 hours of full-body massage again (thanks for that). Sounds crazy, right? Now I feel so sleepy, restless and over-sleep. I just thought that having a massage will make me feel relaxed before going to bed. Well too much of it is definitely not good.

Anyway, I hate how I’m struggling to make major decisions in my life again. Some of my friends are probably tired of my disturbed state around the office lately. I really don’t know how to go about with fully expressing what I’m feeling right now. *Sigh*

Work-related.

I was recently interviewed by the Head of HR here at Globe to join her team in Training. The dilemma came when she was already willing to take me in. I already talked to my boss about it and I’m thankful that my boss is very supportive. Now question is: Should I stay or should I go?

I know there’s always an advantage and disadvantage in every decision. Joining the corporate training team is really far-fetched! A big move in my career indeed! But it’s just that I have always thought of CS (Customer Service) as the happiest place to be. Why? People here are all of the same age (well, almost), I’m exceptionally popular and well-respected (thinking if I will be making a name in HR too), I’m gonna miss all my trainees (bec. they love me so much), my teammates, my modules, the bashing with my colleagues, the games and competitions as if you’re still in school plus I’m super comfortable with my duties, my work station, my friends, bosses, and etc… All these I have to consider. Sure change is something painful and risky.


Hats Day at Customer Engagement!



Pics taken last April 27, 2007 at Pansol, Laguna. People Development Team Chill Party!


I don’t mean to be so dramatic. It’s just there comes a point in one’s life when one will wonder: what makes a person successful? I know money shouldn’t define success because either way, whether one has a lot of it or not, they can be both miserable with their lives. So I really don’t care whether this new position at work will make me richer someday. Sure I know it’s one hell of an opportunity but I’m more interested with the personal challenge that I will encounter rather than the salary that I could be getting. I thought of having this new task will make me more equipped someday. I am also excited to do and learn something new. Meet new people and make new friends. Everything is just so overwhelming. I told you there’s always an advantage and disadvantage.

So now I don’t know. Good thing I’m off to Boracay tomorrow. Sometimes when I need to make big decisions in my life I have to be alone with nature to really contemplate on the whole thing. At this moment, everyone around me is telling me how quiet and sad the training department will be without “xandz”. Some of them joked about giving me a “rocking chair” (kasi I will be an old maid there). Well… let’s see.